The Importance of Turning Around

Did you know the first cars didn’t have a reverse gear?

Early automakers believed backing up wasn’t necessary. You could just turn in a circle or push the car backwards in neutral. Even when reverse gears were introduced in the late 1800s, they were optional!

Today, of course, every car has reverse — even Formula 1 race cars, which are designed almost obsessively to go forward. Because no matter how fast or focused your trajectory, at some point, you might need to back up.

The same is true in life.

Most of the time, we’re in forward gear — striving, pushing, trying to move ahead. But then we hit something: A disagreement. A moment of friction. Someone says or does something we don’t like, and we prepare to blast through it. They shouldn’t act like that. They should see it my way. They need to change.

That’s the instinctive way. It’s the most common way. But is it the most effective way?

Another Possibility

Imagine your car is parked in a garage, and there’s a wall in front of you. What do you do?

You wouldn’t try to push through the wall. You’d put the car in reverse. Millions of us do this every day.

But when you’re in your living room or a conference room and a conflict arises, there’s a wall in front of you too — not physical, but emotional. Going forward — pressing harder, trying to “win” — might also cause damage.

This is where reverse matters.

It may feel counterintuitive — cars are made to go forward. So are people. Progress, momentum, short-term wins — these are our default settings. Why back up? Doesn’t that mean losing? Isn’t it a sign of weakness?

But ask yourself: is it weak to back your car out of a garage instead of ramming it through a wall?

How to Reverse

In human terms, going in reverse might look like:

• Admitting you were wrong — or that the other person might be right (at least from their point of view)
• Pausing before defending yourself
• Choosing curiosity over judgment
• Leading with compassion, even when it’s not reciprocated

Turning around isn’t about escaping. It’s about understanding.

A Practical Takeaway

The next time you put your car in reverse, take a moment to be grateful that you can. That gear didn’t always exist, and people couldn’t easily do what we now take for granted.

And the next time you’re in a disagreement and you face wall of resistance in front of you, remember: reverse is available there too. It’s not the glamorous move, but it might be the one that gets you where you actually want to go — with less friction, and more grace.

But here’s the twist.

In a car, reverse means backing up. In your mind, it’s the opposite. When you’re emotionally revved up and convinced someone else should change, you’re not facing forward at all — you’re looking at reality through a distorted lens of assumption and bias.

If you think things should be different than they are, you’re seeing life backwards.

So the real skill isn’t learning to back up. It’s learning to turn yourself around.